Taming the Storm: Mood Swings, Regret, and the Power of Wise Mind

We’ve all been there—snapping at a partner, withdrawing from a friend, or saying something we later regret. Often, these moments are driven by intense mood states: frustration, sadness, or anxiety that clouds our judgment in the moment. The aftermath usually brings guilt and a wish to “undo” what was said or done. But the damage to our relationships—and ourselves—can feel lasting.

One powerful skill in managing these emotional waves comes from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): the concept of Wise Mind. Wise Mind is the balanced state between Emotion Mind (when feelings dominate and logic disappears) and Reasonable Mind (cold, factual, and disconnected from emotional truth). Wise Mind is where our inner wisdom lives—the part of us that “knows” what feels right, even when emotions run high.

To access Wise Mind, we must first pause. Take a breath and observe your internal experience. What emotions are present? Where do you feel them in your body? Is there a story playing in your head—perhaps one of rejection, abandonment, or fear?

This is where mindfulness becomes essential. When we are aware of the moment we’re being hijacked by emotion, we are more able to shift. Mindfulness gives us that millisecond of choice—the chance to respond instead of react.

Next time you feel overwhelmed or moody, notice the prompt. That tension in your chest? That tightness in your jaw? These are signs. Use them as a cue to slow down and check in.

By practicing self-awareness and responding from a place of Wise Mind, we become more intentional in how we interact with those we care about—and more forgiving of ourselves. It’s not about perfection, but progress. One pause at a time.